It has been a while hasnt it

 I know it has been a good while since I have posted on this blog. Well on any blog lol. Things are going good. We took the time to grieve (well we are still grieving and always will be.) Some days are better then other days. Some days are on the bad side. Addison has had more bad days with her grief her lately. I know she is going through alot and it does make her miss her baby sister (Olivia Rose). but we are getting through it as a family. We always make sure that she knows that we will always be here for her anytime she needs us. She can cry and miss her sister anytime she needs or wants to and we will be here for the hugs when she wants them.  We do miss Olivia Rose daily. There is not a day that doesnt go by that we do not think about her. She is our little angel in heaven. We have decided that since every year (since 2021) we get a ornament to hang on the tree for Olivia Rose, that we get a christmas tree that will be Olivia Rose's memorial christmas tree. We put it on Oct 1, and it is so pretty. It is tall enough that we can continue to add ornaments on it every year. Also our big tree will be the main tree that we put addison's ornaments that has made since her first year of pre school. 

Addison is doing good. Last year we had a scare where she would have chocking spells. It had gotten where it would be everytime she would eat. We got really worried about it, so we talked to her doctor about it. They had a swallow test done and sent her to a g.i. doctor. The g.i doctor done a endoscope on her also. But things was good said it was most likely from acid reflux and a sensory thing.  

oh a big update. We finally got the sensory processing disorder and autism testing done. She isnt austim. They didnt say much about the sensory processing disorder as they mostly tested for the autism and anxiety. (even though i did mention the sensory processing stuff she has going on) Addison is borderlined with anxiety. They did say that the sensory stuff she has had in the past as a baby and now can stem from her anxiety. Which I guess that could be true. As when she stressed or gets overwhelmed alot with stuff the sensory stuff gets a little worse. She is also right on the line for a learning disability with Math. I did not know that was a thing but I guess it is. She hasnt been doing too good with Math. Well she had started to but now is starting to do bad with it again. We may have to get her some help for that. 

Addison has been cheerleading. The first year was the fall of 2021 and she just didnt do good with it all. She enjoyed it some then but I think she was just going through a lot at school and then also the cheerleading (which she had never done that until 2021)  and with it had only been like 2 to 3 months after lossing Olivia Rose, that it was just a little too much for her so she would act out.  (she really didnt finish the whole season that year.) Then last year she did great at it. She even started to really make some life long friends with cheer and started coming out of her shell a little more. Now this year she has done awesome with it and i mean awesome. she gets loud with her cheers, and she keeps a smile on her face (well most of the time lol) and she really is showing her sasses in cheerleading this year. Alot of the moms that was there that first year has came up to us and said how proud they are of Addison and how wonderful she has been doing. That just warms this mommy's heart to hear that. Addison has said she wants to do cheerleading again next year but we will see. She goes back and forth on it lol. 

She starts basketball this year and she is really looking forward to it. This will be her first year of playing basketball.  We have like one more week of cheerleading and then we can get into the basketball season really good lol. 

Okay a little update on myself. I am doing good. I have had moments. I am really trying to love myself and to find the person I use to be and to be a better person. I also have started to lose weight. I tried the Lipo c shots that i had done before but they didnt work this time around. and I mean i did not lose not one lb while i was taken it and i gave it a month and half. I am now taken the semaglutida ( i hope i spelled that right ) I have been taken them for about a month now and I have done lost 9 lbs. hopefully in other month I will lose another 9lbs lol. I have been sick this week with a bad cold (okay not very bad but it has felt like the flu but it isnt that just a cold)  but i am starting to feel better and hopefully i can get back to exercising. 

I am just trying to find ways to help me love myself and find myself again. ( I havent loved myself for years and i mean years. I think I stopped loving myself when we stopped trying to have a baby back in 2013 maybe even before then. ) I have hated that I put myself down alot and I am trying my hardest to stop doing that. 

Things with Mike is good. he has just been busy with work and spending time with Addison and I. I just love seeing him and Addison playing. They play video games together. he will even play baby dolls with her sometimes. They will go outside and run around together and play ball and etc. 

We hope you all are doing good. And I am going to try my hardest to keep this blog updated from now on .